In a funk

I’ve been in a rather dread­ful funk for some time now, and over the last few days have real­ized that it prob­a­bly is a fairly sig­nif­i­cant depres­sive episode.? Or at least it would be IF I wasn’t on a major dose of Effex­orXR every day. Yeah, anti-depressants don’t cure depres­sion, they really just keep it at bay so you can func­tion like a nor­mal human being in good times and like a semi-functional one at bad times.

All I’ve really been want­ing to do is sit here and stare mind­lessly at the com­puter screen, allow­ing it to feed me mostly use­less infor­ma­tion when I’m not play­ing Sudoku or Shisen-Sho. I’m tired a lot but it still takes me a long time to fall asleep.? My cre­ative Muse has deserted me, the bitch, and is prob­a­bly off sip­ping a fruity frozen drink on a trop­i­cal beach some­where with­out me.

And peo­ple!? Oh gods, peo­ple are dri­ving me crazy.? I’m just about ready to go become a her­mit, or an anchorite.? I keep telling DH that he and I seem to be the only sane peo­ple in exis­tence.? This elec­tion has evoked an aura of sense­less hos­til­ity on all sides the likes of which I’ve never seen.? Regard­less of the out­come of next Tuesday’s elec­tion, I fear for this coun­try and the basic ideals upon which it was founded.

Then there’s the lam­p­work­ing community…but that’s a sep­a­rate post for later…

Since I can’t pin­point the start of this episode, I don’t know how long it will go on.? I am hop­ing that at least rec­og­niz­ing it will help me deal with it.? I am also hop­ing that three and a half weeks off at Christ­mas will give me some time to just take care of myself.? I don’t LIKE being tired and angry and depressed all the time, after all.