attitude

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Here I am try­ing to blog every day for a month, four days in, and I have noth­ing to say. Do we call this “blogger’s block,” akin to writer’s block? Or is it just symp­to­matic of the entire day, when I couldn’t get mov­ing this morn­ing, was blah all through class, came home and fell asleep, and after din­ner made a very few, very unin­spired beads.

Since I was so unin­spired, I thought I’d prac­tice using my crys­tal press, which has been chal­leng­ing me ever since I got it. It makes beau­ti­ful beads WHEN you can get it to work right. How­ever, it is extremely sen­si­tive to the amount of glass you use as well as how that glass is placed. That makes it hard to get both a nice shape around the mid­dle, with well-defined edges and points, and nice ends that are even and smooth instead of lop­sided and sharp. It’s even more of a chal­lenge if you want encased crys­tals, since keep­ing the core from bleed­ing out the ends requires some­thing I haven’t dis­cov­ered yet.

At least tomor­row is Thurs­day — shorter class day (with an inter­est­ing topic for once), dance class in the evening, and a three-day weekend.

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Art of the Fire­bird still isn’t a polit­i­cal blog, but I’ve had a cou­ple of thoughts over the last few days to share.? Yes­ter­day, all day, when read­ing through so many of the blogs I fol­low, you would have thought that the sun was shin­ing every­where around the world, the sky was full of rain­bows, blue­bird songs were fill­ing the air, world peace had been achieved, poverty and hunger had instantly been wiped out around the world, and sci­en­tists had just announced cures for can­cer and the com­mon cold.

(Aside: the last is the one I REALLY wish had been true, as I’ve had a mis­er­able one for the bet­ter part of the week.)

You’d have thought the world sud­denly became per­fect as of noon on Tues­day, Jan­u­ary 20, 2009.

I didn’t share that euphoric feel­ing. In fact, I feel some­what sad that I couldn’t share that feel­ing. The cyn­i­cal, real­is­tic Fire­bird knew, and knows, that in truth the world is the same today as it was Mon­day. The Dow went right along with me, drop­ping 300 or so points yes­ter­day.? I know that “change” is the word of the day, the month, the cycle, but I’m just sit­ting back wait­ing to see what sub­stan­tive change really does happen.

What change do I actu­ally expect? I don’t have a crys­tal ball, I’m no sor­cer­ess or seer, but I’d have to say, not much. The cur­rent opti­mism may carry our coun­try for a while, but I expect that sooner rather than later, it will be pol­i­tics as usual in Wash­ing­ton, DC, and in every state capi­tol in the coun­try. Politi­cians, regard­less of party affil­i­a­tion, will act in their own self-interests, defined as get­ting re-elected and stay­ing in power with the assis­tance of lob­by­ists, polit­i­cal con­trib­u­tors, and power­bro­kers. Gov­ern­ment will con­tinue to expand in size, power, and influ­ence to the detri­ment of the indi­vid­ual, and will con­tinue to squan­der the money of the peo­ple it is sup­posed to serve rather than let­ting them spend THEIR money how they deem fit.

In other words, Same Shit, Dif­fer­ent Day. Though I’d love to be proven wrong.

One more thing — all the cheap shots at for­mer Pres­i­dent Bush and his admin­is­tra­tion over the past few weeks?? Tacky, tacky, class­less, and tacky!!! If peo­ple can’t respect the man, they can at least respect the office. I had to unsub­scribe from another blog yes­ter­day, that of a jew­elry artist who had been repeat­edly post­ing rather pretty mean-spirited things, after the author posted a pic­ture of a sign show­ing Pres­i­dent Bush wav­ing, with the words “Adios, Douchebag!” That was IMO dis­gust­ingly beyond the pale no mat­ter whose pic­ture was on it (and no, I’ve never been a big Bush fan). The author later removed the pic­ture, though not the post, say­ing they didn’t want to “sully their archives” with it. What­ever — I’m stay­ing unsub­scribed, and have lost pretty much all respect for that indi­vid­ual.? There’s no place in my life for that kind of ugly atti­tude, no mat­ter where it’s directed.


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Dear Etsy,

Con­grat­u­la­tions. You’ve done it again, and I don’t mean that in a good way. Your oh-so-cute Gift Guides for Grand­mas and Grand­pas went out of their way (before they were edited to CYA) to per­pet­u­ate your stereo­typ­i­cal view of any­one over, oh, say, 35 as com­pletely out of touch with today’s cul­ture and fit only for retire­ment to a rock­ing chair where they can sit all day and knit and rem­i­nisce about the Good Old Days, that is when they aren’t bak­ing cook­ies. I’d have thought that Vanessa, at least, would have learned from the bruhaha that arose from her arti­cle this sum­mer, but appar­ently not.

Funny, the grand­par­ents *I* know are out there build­ing houses with Habi­tat for Human­ity. They are through-hiking the Appalachian Trail, 2000 gru­el­ing miles, while most of you young­sters on the Etsy staff prob­a­bly wouldn’t even make it as far as Neels Gap. They are fill­ing classes at the John C. Camp­bell Folk School and sim­i­lar insti­tu­tions, expand­ing their minds and stretch­ing their cre­ativ­ity to the limit and beyond. They’re still fleec­ing peo­ple half their age, or younger, at the poker table for that matter.

Per­haps I should send my hus­band, a grand­fa­ther of four (ages six to thir­teen), up to your head­quar­ters to show you what today’s grandpa is really like. I’ll make sure he’s wear­ing his brand new Tae Kwon Do black belt, earned just last Sat­ur­day, and car­ry­ing the two pairs of nunchucks that he’s asked for in pref­er­ence to YOUR gift sug­ges­tions this Christ­mas. He can do a lit­tle kumdo (Korean sword) demon­stra­tion while he’s at it — he’ll have the black belt in that in a month or so as well.

In any case, your narrow-minded view­point has got­ten really old; older, in fact, than you think we boomer-generation old­sters are. It’s time you got over your­self and your attitude.

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Sign­ing up for the lat­est swap on one of my Yahoo! groups was a mis­take, I fig­ured, but I went ahead and did it any­way.? I was right.? It was a round-robin, on a strict dead­line, and I do not do ter­ri­bly well with strict dead­lines at the best of times. Right now, with my Muse on hia­tus, a cre­ative round-robin was doomed to not go well and it didn’t. No cre­ativ­ity, no moti­va­tion, pro­cras­ti­na­tion on the mail­ings (I really do loathe going to the post office), and no real expla­na­tion for any of it — just men­tal and psy­cho­log­i­cal inabil­ity to do any­thing, or to even talk about it to any­one. So I was dropped from the swap, got my book mailed back to me, and finally got the book I still had into the mail (with­out any con­tri­bu­tion from me, sadly).

Nat­u­rally I feel like a total shit, to the point where I have avoided emails and group digests because they just wors­ened the spi­ral. I really need to not par­tic­i­pate in swaps and round-robins until I can get my pro­cras­ti­na­tion and avoid­ance behav­iors straight­ened out.? Next time I’ll? lis­ten to the lit­tle voice in my head that says, “yes, it sounds cool, but remem­ber, you usu­ally man­age to screw these things up despite your best inten­tions,” and stay out so I don’t piss peo­ple off. Just another les­son I’m kind of slow learn­ing, eh?


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A bit late thanks to spend­ing last evening watch­ing the Super Bowl com­mer­cials and installing closet shelving!

Best lam­p­work blog writ­ings of the week end­ing Feb­ru­ary 3, 2008:

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