Why I’m Not Feeling the Love at Work

Dear Female Colleague,

I heard through the grapevine today that you don't think I'm "pulling my fair share of the load." Interesting. I'd like to ask you a few questions, and make a few comments, about that if I may.

  1. Just what is a "fair share of the load"? Who established that metric, how is it measured, how are different contributions weighted? As a matter of fact, who gave you the right to judge whether or not my contributions are sufficient?
  2. Are you certain you know about everything that I do? Have you taken into account that I do more student advising than most other faculty? Do you know about my service to a professional organization outside of the college structure? Are you aware of my talks to the local CPA society chapters on technological issues, both on campus and off? Have you kept track of all the information on technology and CS education that I gather and make available to colleagues and students alike? Oh, and don't forget those student Capstone Projects for which I have been serving as a faculty mentor — I've been doing those without any extra compensation for a number of years. In fact, I'm continuing to mentor one of those projects from last spring, which has grown into a major software product development effort, without any kind of official status currently. Just because I'm not one of those braggadocios who spend their time telling the world how wonderful they are doesn't mean I'm slacking. 
  3. What makes you think my job is really any of your business anyway? I am not sure who you are since the grapevine wouldn't tell me, but unless you are my department head or my dean, you need to worry about yourself and yourself alone. Frankly, my responsiblities and tasks are none of your business. Mind your own business and BUTT OUT.
  4. Are you jealous because I actually manage to have A Life outside my job? Oh, please. That's truly sad. Would you like to know how I do it? It's very simple. I manage my time carefully, and I don't bother wasting a lot of time kvetching about how my job is so hard/how "it's not FAAAAAIIIRRRRR"/how no one Understands What I Do/etc. I also stay as well-organized as I can manage. I keep a balance in my life. I won't compromise my physical or mental health for my job. I refuse to waste my time with bullshit; I spend it more productively and usefully. THAT, my dear, lets me have the essential time for art and dance and volunteer work. You could do the same if you chose.
  5. Most important, if you have a problem with me, why aren't you addressing it with me up front, face to face? Passive-aggressive tactics like whinging about it to others behind my back are both classless and immature. You're not in junior high any more — you're an adult and you need to handle issues in an adult manner. Grow the fuck up.